


Video Chat

by Masterless



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: COMMUNICATION BITCH, Consent is key, Internalized thinking, M/M, Robbe being a good boyfriend, Robbe overthinking the video chat, Sander being a good boyfriend, falling asleep, talking about video chat sex but no actual video chat sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:08:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23658106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterless/pseuds/Masterless
Summary: Robbe found himself going over what had just happened again and again. He felt guilty about saying he wasn’t for whatever they were starting to do. He didn’t feel comfortable with it, even though Sander had looked sexy.  Maybe he should have just gone with it, because Sander was certainly getting into it. Maybe he should have let Sander have some fun. He deserved the best, and Robbe felt guilty for not being the best. For not just doing what Sander had wanted. Robbe knew, though, that Sander would have felt even worse if he thought he was forcing Robbe to do something he didn’t want to do. He knew, not even deep down, that Sander would have utterly hated himself if he found out that Robbe had forced himself to do what Sander wanted.
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 5
Kudos: 158





	Video Chat

Robbe peaked through nearly closed eyes at his screen once more. He knew from experience that Sander, his face relaxed, mouth slightly open, was now fast asleep. He was laying on his side, so he wasn’t snoring yet, but Robbe found that he liked the sound of Sander snoring. It was always gentle, a rumbling in his chest that lulled Robbe to sleep if he ever woke up in the middle of the night. 

But right now he was quiet, and Robbe found himself going over what had just happened again and again. He felt guilty about saying he wasn’t for whatever they were starting to do. He didn’t feel comfortable with it, even though Sander had looked sexy. Robbe always thought Sander looked hot, and he had even touched himself on more than one occasion, thinking about his boyfriend. When it came down to it, though? He didn’t like the feeling of video chat sex. And Sander had looked so confused when Robbe stopped it all, he could practically see the thoughts running through Sander’s head. Maybe Robbe wasn’t happy with him, maybe Robbe didn’t want to be with him any more, maybe Robbe was mad at him, maybe, maybe, maybe. So Robbe felt guilty about stopping it. For speaking up for himself. Maybe he should have just gone with it, because Sander was certainly getting into it. Maybe he should have let Sander have some fun. He deserved the best, and Robbe felt guilty for not being the best. For not just doing what Sander had wanted.

Robbe knew, though, that Sander would have felt even worse if he thought he was forcing Robbe to do something he didn’t want to do. He knew, not even deep down, that Sander would have utterly hated himself if he found out that Robbe had forced himself to do what Sander wanted. Sander would hate himself for making Robbe uncomfortable for something he wanted. They talked about open communication all the time, making sure they were both comfortable, and while both of them were still learning, still messing up and growing together, Robbe knew that when he didn’t communicate well, Sander felt bad about it. Sander felt like he was forcing Robbe. He felt the same way, too, when he did something that made Sander uncomfortable. Neither situation happened frequently, and they talked a lot about things they didn’t want to do and things they did want to do, they were as open as they could be, but still… After years of being a people pleaser, he had a hard time standing up for himself.

So he felt guilty. And-

“I can hear you thinking,” Sander said.

Robbe focused back in on Sander’s face. He had been staring absently at the screen, so engrossed in his own thoughts, that he hadn’t noticed Sander waking up.

“Sorry,” Robbe said.

“It’s nothing to apologise for.” Sander shifted, fighting sleep again. “What’re you thinking about?”

Robbe shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

“No, Robbe.” Sander smiled encouragingly. “Tell me. Please.”

Sighing, Robbe looked away from Sander’s face on the screen. “I just… I feel bad about saying no.”

“Saying no to what?” Sander asked.

“To…” Robbe shrugged, laughing uncomfortably. “To doing stuff. On screen.”

Sander frowned. “Why? If you don’t want to do it, then we won’t do it. You being comfortable is way more important than me wanting to have chat sex.”

“I know, it’s just…” Robbe rubbed his face into his pillow. When he looked back at the screen, Sander was still watching him. “I just want to make you feel good, okay? I want you to have nice things. And I feel guilty about taking it away from you, but good for standing up for myself, too? I’m not good at standing up myself, not that this situation really needed me to stand up for myself, and I feel like I should have just… gone along with it. But I also know that it would make you feel bad if you found out I wasn’t enjoying it, and I didn’t want you to feel bad either, and-”

“Hey,” Sander said softly, kindly. “I don’t care about having video sex. I care about you, and you being happy and comfortable.” He sighed, shifting to sit up and bring his laptop up. “I love you, Robbe, and I never want you to feel like you owe me anything.” Robbe started to protest. “No, Robbe, listen. I know you feel like I deserve nice things,” he chuckled, “and thank you for thinking that. But that doesn’t mean that you give me nice things at your own expense.” He looked down at his hands. “I never should have asked.”

“No,” Robbe said, sitting up as well. “Sander, you asking was good, it was… it was you trusting me, right? So you asking was good. Telling me what you wanted.” He realised something. “And giving me the opportunity to say no. And accepting my no when I changed my mind.”

Sander nodded, still looking at his hands. “So… you’re not mad at me?”

“Of course not.” Robbe swallowed. “And you’re not mad at me?”

“Never.” 

“Okay. I love you.”

Sander smiled. “I love you, too, Robbe.”

“Should we try to get back to sleep now?” 

“I’m too awake.” He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I don’t think I can get back to sleep.”

Robbe thought for a moment. “We could watch a movie? Screen share and watch something.”

“Okay.” Sander laid down again. “What movie? I’ll set up the screen thingy and you pick.”

“We could always watch Frozen.” Robbe snorted when Sander rolled his eyes. Moyo called him Elsa once and now it was stuck in Robbe’s mind. “Okay, okay. What about… 1917?”

“Isn’t that a war movie?” Sander asked.

The screen then shifted, showing Robbe what Sander was seeing. 

“Yeah, but it’s a good film.”

“Let’s watch something funny.”

“Something funny?”

“Yeah. Or gay.”

Robbe snorted. “I don’t think I have any gay movies. Well, I do have  _ Call Me By Your Name _ .”

“I’m so uncomfortable watching that.” Sander scrunched up his face. “The peach scene always makes me cringe. Why do you even have it?”

“Aaron gave it to me on the last day of school before all this started. Said something about how sweet it was? I don’t know, I liked it.”

“I mean, it was okay. I’m a little put off by the age difference.”

Robbe nodded.

In the end, they decided on a Disney movie,  _ Aladdin _ , which Sander had somehow never seen. Robbe felt better, knowing that they’d talked about it was okay, though he still felt a little guilty. They talked a bit through the movie, but they assured each other they weren’t mad. It was okay. Robbe woke up the next morning to the sound of Sander snoring gently, the warm light of the sun filtering through his window and setting his bleached hair aglow.


End file.
